For many years in my early 20’s I wanted to be an actress. Actually, scratch that, I’d wanted to be an actress since I was about five. It’s been about 20 years (at least) since I hung that dream up for new ones. But recently, I enrolled in an acting class. I did it quite out of the blue. It came from journaling. I started that a few weeks ago and was surprised to find that the desire to do this was in me. I wanted to know what it was like to act for the pure joy and fun of it, with absolutely no agenda. I wanted to know what it was like to do this as a middle aged woman, less comfortable in a bikini, but far more comfortable in my own skin. More than anything, what would it be like to act when my body was no longer in a constant fight or flight mode? Out of survival mode and able to actually experience this?
Once I found the class I wanted to take, I was disappointed to find out I had to take a 12 week intro class. I’d expected to join a scene study class, after all, I’d taken years of acting class back in my day. But, in order to skip this class they said I’d have to submit a reel of my work, and that, my friends, is on an old VHS tape. So, I went with the other option and instead, enrolled in the acting technique class. And, let me tell you, it was a gift. Because I hadn’t even imagined the incredible experiences I’d witness in this class.
The class is in Los Angeles where many, many people from around the world come to pursue their dream of acting. Every week, we’re joined by people from everywhere and nowhere. Once a girl had just arrived in town and had her actual U-Haul truck was parked down the street. Another guy from Romania, dressed all in black, with a wonderful accent said it was his dream to play the ultimate villain. Another young girl from China said her last experience acting was as a bunny in her elementary school play.
Friends, my heart bursts with each of these revelations. A young, stand up comic from New Orleans, smugly told the class he was a dick. The teacher said something that disarmed him, and the look on his face-well, it was priceless. Instant vulnerability.
Friends, in these days where the majority of our interactions take place online, to be there in person, witnessing and feeling, processing and learning-it’s magical. I love every one of these kids. I love their dreams and their hopes. My heart hurts for the disappointments that lay ahead for them. I want them all to thrive. I don’t know if anyone will “make it”. But, I do know every single one of us will be better for this experience.
Oh, and doing this as a middle-aged squishy, self-loving and present person? It’s awesome.
Gina- I had a very similar experience when I came to chicago. They pure joy I found. The inspiration of others.